


Segway-Segway

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Kidnapping, M/M, Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-22 21:11:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/614367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's less of a comedy and more of an experience in the twilight zone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Segway-Segway

**Author's Note:**

> Response to this [prompt](http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/15638.html?thread=86300950#t86300950) .Revised and de-anoned from sherlockbbc-fic

The first time Mycroft Holmes comes by a crime scene, DI Dimmock wonders what the hell is going on. The man manages to bypass his officers, solve the crime (the woman was out on a Friday night despite being married; clearly cheating - check the husband), and get away before Dimmock can call him out on it. Most bewildering of all, he does all this on a Segway.

The second time, there has been a murder, presumably by a cabbie. Mr. Holmes cons his way in again. Accordingly, after Mycroft concludes it wasn't the cabbie (undeniably a pacifist), the real killer sends lackeys to kidnap the brilliant man. The kidnapping largely succeeds because the Segway fails to out pace the criminals. Dimmock ends up rescuing the man with his very pretty and very silent PA (he suspects she browsed cat macros the entire rescue mission).

The Yard gossips, of course. That man on the Segway, they say. It morphs into Segway Man, like he is some kind of part-time super hero. Segway Man and DI Dimmock, fighting crime like new versions of Hatman and Robin. Dimmock just wishes he wasn't the side-kick in this story.

Things become even more gossip fodder material when John Watson manages to punch Mycroft in the face in front of a prostitute and one of her clients. Said client is later killed. Both men are interviewed, but the information gained from the prostitute is most valuable. (He said, "You fucking sold out your own brother you arse." He did). Dr. Watson takes to stalking Mycroft at crime scenes and glaring at him much to Dimmock’s dismay.

When a coroner by the name of Molly Hooper starts showing up too, ("Getting pictures for a friend," she murmurs while setting Mycroft on his Segway as her mobile wallpaper), Dimmock figures it's way to late to stop this, and he is either going to end up marring the PA (who creepily stalks behind Mycroft in a black car), or he is going to marry Mycroft because that is just what happens in his new world.

The day Lestrade and the ex-wife turn up at a crime scene to watch Mycroft Holmes wave his umbrella around segway-style ( "I mean not even you are that pathetic Greg," the ex-wife helpfully informs Lestrade), is the same day Sherlock Holmes shows up yelling at his brother to stop stealing his work and demeaning it by riding around in a potato's carriage. (Meanwhile, John Watson cries red-eyed to a frazzled Sally Donovan, that Sherlock came back from the dead to complain to his brother, not because I missed him. Sherlock is a berk. Sally agrees on the berk part.) 

Dimmock decides the PA is the safer bet that day; unfortunately, five years later he ends up leaving his wedding on the back of a Segway with Anthea waving Mycroft and him goodbye, and the Prime Minister looks on bemused and befuddled. Dimmock understands entirely. He still hasn't gotten past the befuddled stage. After all, Segways.


End file.
